It was recently bought to my attention that sometimes attraction of the opposite sex can be mixed up with inner desires (or deficiencies) which means you are attracted to the person as a means of fulfilling your inner desire rather than being attracted for who they are.
That is unfair on the opposite sex. They are who they are. They are the attraction. The attraction should not be what they can do for you like a means to an end. We should appreciate them for who they are. Once that inner desire is fulfilled, where would that leave them, worthless?
One small example: If you have an inner desire to be more selfless you may pursue a relationship with someone who excels at selflessness in the hope that is will rub off on you or even your children. Remember you marry a person you value for who they are not for what they can do for you. A 50:50 relationship can be confused as two halves making a whole. 50:50 simply means equal contribution. While I’m not sure if 50:50 is biblical the bible says TWO will become ONE.
Now I want to refer back to the title ‘the attraction lenses. Inner desires that can often be unbeknown to us tend to focus our attraction towards fulfilling these inner desires, which can come across as ‘captain intensity’ not a good captain in my experience (did I say my experience?). And all this because we have these inner desire lenses we may not even know we are wearing.
So I suppose to take off these lenses you need to get rid of the inner desires by meeting them in some other way. If your inner desire is to be more selfless, be more selfless and tell yourself from now on you are more selfless and will continue to be even more selfless in the future.
With these lenses removed imagine what attraction would be like then, as if the opposite sex was not attractive enough already ☺ You will be able to sip and savor the cup of a pure relationship, without guzzling down the contents because your thirst drives you to quench your inner desire.
Am I preaching to myself, yes of course I am. If you haven’t worked that out yet, maybe you should get to know me more.
Peace =)
All this talk about attraction, I love what Paul Windsor said recently about a couple looking in the same direction rather than looking at each other focusing on themselves as a couple. Attraction. Hmmm. Personally my focus at the moment is trying to see below the surface. The temptation is to only see the physical but I think if I really want to live life to the full, I want to go way deeper than that, way deeper.
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