Verbal vs. Written Reflection

I used to have a diary that I tried to write in every day. I started it ten years ago when I was fifteen because other people who I respected did a similar thing. The tipping point was the tragedy of someone I knew dying. Should I add that it was a girl I liked who was only 16 years old. My first entry was how I was feeling at the time and the thoughts that were coming to mind.

This writing became a habit. Not over night but over the years it built up although over the last year or two it has declined. Seldom do I write reflective statements these days. But I have tried to substitute it with interactive verbal reflections. This way I feel I am being more accountable. My view of reality is more likely to be held in check by others perceptions. I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing, perhaps it is my attempt to feel more connected with others. My attempt to be more accountable to what is going on inside my head, my attempt to be more communal, to learn how to share and interact with others, to make my thoughts more malleable. But perhaps my thoughts have become to malleable. I mean the social tendency these days is that your words do not always match up to your actions, we say things lightly, we are not afraid to take different sides, explore different views. Theres a word that gets used quite a lot these days by young people, it's called "jokes". This word is readily available when an embarrassing thing is said, it's a way of telling people to hold what you just said lightly.

How often do we use sarcasm? Quite a bit. How often do we say stuff that we don't literally mean? Is this affecting out thinking, are we willing to stake a claim in the sand let alone concrete?

Writing is a little different. It's a bit more black and white. We write something and especially blogging once we have published it. We can't say "jokes" to people if we think they are getting offended by what we are saying, because potentially thousands read it and we can't monitor all those reactions. So perhaps then we need to be a bit careful about what words we use. Perhaps we need to think about what we are saying more because what we are saying is more the point as opposed to in a conversation half the point seems to be simply having a conversation, is it just me or do most conversations seem meaningless?

My point is, instead of excluding myself from seemingly meaningless conversations; if I want to practice saying stuff that I perhaps can-not retract so readily and therefore need to be more sure of, I should write more stuff that will be open to public scrutiny.